She's how old????

Gracie is 1727 days old today! :). That's 56 months, or 246 weeks or 41,470 hours old (at the time of this writing) except I don't really know what time she was born. She was born on a Tuesday (or Monday over here).
We will celebrate her birthday for the FIRST time in 98 days! What a party that will be!!!! Our birthdays are exactly 100 days apart on a calendar.

I'd like to think I will see her again before she's oh say .... 1750 days old and I'm (never gonna repeat that number)old! :P

A glimpse of the divine

Merry Christmas little one!

How I long to teach you about Jesus. He was a boy who was born into this world as an outcast. Born into a poor family and despised by those with earthly power. Thought of as insignificant and yet evoked fear from the many who didn't understand Him.

For all of time since He came, those who come to know Him gain an understanding of the love that could only come from the One True God, the Creator of us all, the Father of life.

I think we're all supposed to pass on to others a glimpse of the divine through our own spirit that is tempered with God's love and grace. Very few people are better able to do that than a lowly orphan who is so eager to share joy with others.

You don't even know it yet but you are already doing that. Being used by God to better my life and the lives of those who love you and those who will come to love you with time. Given the chance, you will dispell the myth that is fear from those who don't understand you and the gifts you have. Of that I'm certain.

He was never born "just a boy" as you were born "just a girl", but you will also be used by God to bring joy and love to the lives of people who need it.

I can't wait to teach you about Him. It's His birthday tomorrow. He gave you and I a gift on His own birthday. He came here for all of us and He is still here now, allowing us to see a glimpse of the divine through the blessings and love of those around us.

I can't wait to tell you all about Him!

I love you immensely,

Mama

I've started to feel that same ugly feeling of doubt again. Is it ever going to happen? Will the judge find favor in me? Am I just going to freeze to death in Siberia?

I was told that I shouldn't expect to hear anything until after January 10th. It seems the Russians like to enjoy their holidays for a long time. Actually, I'm not sure how many holidays they pack into that timeframe, but it's too many as far as I'm concerned. My girl is waiting for her mama. She has no idea if I'm coming back. I wonder if the workers remind her of me and tell her that I'm coming back for her.

Christmas is a season of hope. I've believed that all my life so I guess that's just what I'll continue to do. Hold onto faith and hope in a promise that I've been given. I'll be going over to get my girl the minute the say I can and if you all would be kind enough to say a prayer for me that the judge would find favor in me. that he or she would realize that Gracie will be an incredibly loved and happy girl for the rest of her life. She didn't ask to be born with an extra chromosome, didn't ask to be left at the hospital or live the better part of her first 5 years in an orphanage, but I think if she could ask for anything, it would be to come home with her new mommy.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Reflecting on the people and things I have to be thankful for today. My mind keeps going back to Gracie's smiling face.

Back to her mischevious little giggle.

And her non-stop quest for the perfect sounding toy.

And as I answered someone's questions the other day about how I can want to get into child rearing again since I could be done. I calmly explained that I could live with nothing or noone every day.

Or I can come home to this every day.....

And this.....

Need I say more? I don't think so.

Gracie 047.avi

Here is another one. Love how she likes to learn. This is the first day of my visits. She makes me giggle when she's trying to make the cat meow. So fun!

Gracie day 5 029

I hope this works. This is a favorite one of mine. Check out her tongue! Love it. It's just so long! UGH, I miss this girl! This was the last day of my visit and she had been upset that she was going to miss her lessons so the sneaky little thing that she is, she got right past me and ran into the classroom. :)

I'm home

This is the very first picture of Gracie that I took with my camera. Taken at a time when she knew little of individual attention and knew even less of having a mama. She is pictured here with Genrich, my facilitator.

Well I'm home.

Had a miserable time trying to stay awake but did and I have to say that my bed has never felt so good. I'm anxious to grab one specific little 4 year old and snuggle the afternoon away. Someday I will.

I have to say how much I appreciate my homeland, my country, my state and my home. I'm home, where toilet paper is soft, lane lines mean something, milk is milk (not boiled and fermented), where there are seats on toilets (one day, I fully weighed the risk of kidney infection vs using the toilet that was available---The risk paid off though because I am free of any UTI), where meat means beef or pork, where a complete stranger will smile to you and offer to lend a hand if you need it. Thank God for the USA. We live in the greatest land on earth.

That being said, there is so much I will miss . Of course, first and foremost, my daughter Gracie, she is wonderful beyond my imagination, my new friends and interpreters Karina and Lesa, they were so nice to me and really gave me a feeling of comfort with their presence and help and they proved to be good photographers and the water pressure of my shower (it was amazing).

I'm so mindful of the blessings I have here at home. Understanding the words when someone speaks to you, the greeting from those whom you haven't seen in awhile, the comfort of soft toilet paper and a seat to sit on (can't be overstated), left wheeled cars and traffic that is not bumper to bumper, cool fresh air, ICE especially when it is surrounded by good fresh tea, all the TV and internet you could ask for and last but not least the love of family and friends.

I learned a lot about myself going over there. There is now nothing I wouldn't do for a little girl who is not in my hands but in my heart. I need to work on being content where I am, seeing the blessings of simple life or of the growth that comes with adversity. Recognizing potential, not just the obvious potential of that amazing little girl (and not to minimize that) but the potential that lies in me. I won't ever claim to be a seasoned traveller, but I survived (something I wasn't always sure I would do) and I'm still chewing on the concept of bravery. People say I am brave for doing this, but to be honest, have felt not even one moment of bravery through all of this. I have to say that I am scared, excited, tired, weary and determined. Making a difference to myself means making a difference to someone else at the same time. I like to think it's always been that way.

Not sure what my life will look like with that busy little girl in it full time, but it's time to start preparing for it. One thing is for sure, I need to start baby proofing my house. Now! She's got a touch of mischief in her and I need to be ready for it. But first, I think I'll take a nap. I have a little catching up to do.

Thank you all for thinking about me, sending me your positive thoughts and prayers and support. I can't wait for you to meet her! She's amazing. One of God's finer creations.

This is one of the pictures taken on day 4 of 5. It is one of my favorites. I love the sparkle in her eyes, the happiness on her face and the enthusiasm in her demeanor. She blossomed in the time I was there. Can't wait to see her continued growth and new personality.

Gracie Day 5- Last day for awhile :(

Well, much to my disapointment, my time with Gracie was shortened today. Trafic was heavy and Genrich was late. Although he had a new friend drive today and I'm pretty sure he made up some time on the road. It was a little scary! Ok it was alot scary! When we did get there, Gracie wasn't quite ready for me so we waited. Pretty soon Gracie was carried through the door by one of the workers. She was ready to go in some short little cropped pants and a sweater. Much better than the dress (although it was cute) for playing.

She enjoyed the cheerios and even got the hang of the cup with the special lid for no-spills, then before too long wanted a drink of mama's water. After that, we travelled upstairs again for a bathroom run. She didn't seem to mind that the other kids were getting suited up to go outside, but I found out later that she was very upset that she would miss class-time because of my visit. So being the mischevious child that I have found her to be, she weaseled her way into the classroom where we had lessons. It was too cute watching the teacher work with her on facial expressions. Creasing her brows, moving her tongue up and down and right to left were challenges for her coordination. So cute to watch. And let me tell you, that girl has a loooong tongue. I understand that one characteristic of DS is a short palate not a long tongue, but I wonder if she doesn't have both. Either way, it's cute!

Saying goodbye was the part I dreaded for this whole week. She was so busy and slightly ornery. She made claim to her blanket and dolly and they went first into her own bed then to multiple other beds so she could tell her friends that those were hers. I tried to get a picture of her tucking her baby into the blanket, but had forgotten to delete yesterday's pictures off the smart card so had run out of room in the memory. I'm so bummed about that. It was cute and she was so very careful and precise. In the end, I tried to tell her that mama was going paka for a long time this time but I would come back for her and that I loved her very much. Well she was much too busy for that until the very end when she figured out that mama was really leaving. I got one more hug and off she went. It made me sad, but would have made me much sadder if I had to have someone peel her out of my arms. One day, I will be back for her and we'll walk out of that door forever. That is now my landmark day to look forward to. It will come, I know it will. I have a daughter to bring home!

Snack time

Gracie's having snack.

We'll have to work on that tongue thrust thing a little. :)

Gracie Day 4

When I got there today, Gracie was having a snack.
We caused quite a stir when we entered the room


Happy birthday Tyler! We're gonna have great fun together!

She even makes the huskers look cute!


Fun times in the ball pit.

This is where she sleeps. She's showing me her bed.

In the hallway playing in the mirror. We were on our way up to her groupa when it was time for me to leave.


A big kiss for mama! She did not want me to leave today. I think she yelled to every kid today "My mama". My heart already hurts when I think about tomorrow. How can I say goodbye to her for so long. Makes me cry.

Nyet that's MY mama!

Well today started out on a slightly sad note. Genrick went to get Gracie from her common room and when they were coming back, I heard a boom and a very sad cry. Gracie bumped her head as she was coming down the hall. Genrick being the guy that he is was holding her facing away from him. I went to them and held out my hands and she lept into my arms. I was still sad about her ouchy but my heart soared that she wanted ME!

We went to the special room and again played and played. She wasn't as busy as yesterday, but definitely had me running. The door was closed today so it was a little extra stuffy in there.

I brought some large drawing sheets and some colors for her and she really did like to color. But pretty soon, she had way too much energy to sit there any longer and to the ball pit we went. After awhile, Karina (my wonderful interpreter) recognized that typical "I gotta go potty" dance which must be universal. She asked Gracie if she had to go potty and she said yes. So Gracie grabbed my hand and off we went. Upstairs two flights and down the hall we entered a room that had 12 or so children in it that were all about Gracie's age. Gracie knew just what to do. She grabbed her pot and promptly sat down on it and did her business. While she was doing that, the kids in the room noticed us and all started gathering around me saying "mama". Gracie came out of that bathroom jumped into my arms and said NYET that's MY MAMA! I heard the nyet and could hear her tone which was very stern. Karina told me while she was giggling what Gracie was saying. I'M HER MAMA! It makes me cry even as I'm typing it.

We tried on some different clothes which Gracie thought was so fun. She had the cutest t-shirt and underpants on which looked brand new. I could see her scar on her chest and you can feel that her breast bone has been disrupted and put back together, but she is very ticklish and wouldn't let me get too long of a look. The 3T outfit is too big as I suspected. The 2T t-onsie that I brought is also slightly too big. The 18 month t-shirt fit her very nicely. She's a peanut. My camera battery died about that time so I wasn't able to get any pictures of her in the other outfits.

Then I tried to trace her foot. WAY too ticklish for that! But she tried to do it herself after that. She really liked the colors until I took them away because she tried to eat them. :)

When it was time to go, I walked her up to the common room again. She really didn't want to go back and tried to stay in a sitting room just outside. I gave her hugs and kisses and whispered in her ear how many people she has that love her. Mama most of all. She was so full of hugs today and gave me lots of love. I don't know how I can just leave her in 3 more days. It's going to be too hard. Makes me cry some more.

On a very sad note, Karina said the workers told her of a girl Alice I think who is also listed on Reeces Rainbow. She is a couple of months younger than Gracie I think. Alice was considered to be unteachable so she was transferred to the institution recently. Makes my heart sad because she is one that I was drawn to. Her picture looked so sweet and gentle. I find it so hard to ignore all the others whom I can't help and can do nothing about. Why does it have to be that way?

Paka,

Deana

Day 2

We had a good time with the tunnel today.

She liked the hoops. It was obvious that she has done something specific with them before, but I didn't understand what.

This picture is a favorite of mine even though its a little dark.

Playing with the toys.

A hug for mama. She went for her dolly first thing. She likes it Syd.

Today we played and we played hard. If there were 100 toys in that room then we played with 99 of them. She didn't think much of the cute dress they put her in for my benefit since she couldn't climb and play like she likes. One time, I looked at her as she was gathering her dress bottom up to around her waist just to get it out of her way.

I am so moved when I reflect on her and how wonderfully made she is. The people here keep referring to her as being sick because she has Down syndrome and I just want to say, she's not sick. She is just the way she is supposed to be! The way God made her! My daughter. :)

Welcome to Siberia

And it's been a good welcome.

It's late and I am still in a deficit when it comes to sleep, so I'll make this as short as I can. There is so much to say though. I just have to say that when God blesses, he does it abundantly. She is so beautiful. The joy that she puts forth could brighten anyone's mood. It sure did mine.

The referral was granted today by a woman who asked some very stern questions and slowly softened before me. She asked why I wanted a defective child and how I would take care of her. What kind of family support did I have and would she have adequate therapy and training when she is in school. Then she said that what they (Russia) wanted to do most is find her a family that would love and take care of her, and it looked like they had found one. She gave me tips on papers to bring with me to go before the judge and granted the referral.

And now for the good part......This is the home she has lived in her whole life. She was born on April 4, 2006 to two parents who were very young. She was left at the hospital and has not had a visitor for a very long time. I was told that her grandmother would visit her occasionally but even that has not happened for a long time. She had heart surgery at age 1 and has been cleared of any cardiac problems recently as a follow-up by her cardiologist.

She really liked the baby doll that her big sister picked out for her. When the orphanage director told her to give it a kiss, she did for the camera. She was said to be a leader and "not too bossy". Said she is friendly to everyone and obeys. She likes to follow directions.

She took the blanket that my mom made for her and folded it up to wrap up the baby doll.

She also liked using the magna-doodle that I brought for her. We're gonna have so much fun coloring!

Isn't it so nice to see a smile on that pretty face!

Bed is calling me now. I'm sure I'll post more tomorrow.

PAKA

Deana

Eleven months, three weeks and one day

What is that you ask....

It's the amount of time it has taken for me to meet my girl. Almost a year ago, I committed to a little girl who stole my heart. She drew me in and touched my soul. God led me to her and I've been on a mission ever since. Oh yes, I've had times that I thought "This is JUST TOO HARD" "I can't do this" and then there is the ever so gentle nudge that God gives me saying "THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL NEEDS YOU....YOU NEED THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL"

What a journey we've been on. I'm sure that I've taxed most everyone I know talking non-stop about this little girl, adoption, international adoption, Down syndrome and all of it combined. I've said it before that this is the longest hardest pregnancy I've ever had. And true to most pregnancies, I've not done it alone.

Thank you all: Amy, Mom and Dad, Tyler, Sydney, Aunt Bev, Cheryl, friends and family...all of you in no particular order. You've all been so great to support this dream and this little girl. I think we all need this little girl in our lives. She's coming. She'll be here one day soon.

So exactly one year after I committed to her, I will sleep off my jet lag, catch up on my mail, talk incessantly on the phone and prepare more documents for the second trip of this adoption. The frosting on the cake as it were....The finalization of Gracie's adoption. She'll be Grace MacKenzie Clifton. My daughter in every sense of the word.

Travelling FINALLY

Just a quick note to let everyone know I'm travelling to meet Gracie. Finally! October 6th through October 12th. Please pray for safe travel and the finances to complete the trip without problems.


Thank you!
Deana

Fall is almost here

Well it's almost here.

Fall... offering respite from the sting of summer heat. A new school year and a new schedule which always helped me snap into a routine that was so welcome after so many hectic days without structure. As a kid, I always loved the summer, it was the time of my birthday, endless days at the pool and a never ending tan (or so I thought).

As summer sets and fall dawns, I'm full of hope. I am hopeful that my papers are at this time in the hands of the Russian authorities who will approve them and send long awaited information on my daughter and call for me in the near future. I'm told it should be soon. Later this week or next week, I really don't know, but as always, I will try (and sometimes fail) as I wait patiently for my chance to meet my daughter. I can't wait to love on her, place my hands on her as I pray for her and marvel at the miracle that she is. I can't wait to hold her in my arms. I can't wait to see the smile on her face on day 2 when she knows I'm there to see her and only her.

I'm coming Gracie. Coming this fall.

I'll keep you all posted.

Deana

I met an Olympian today!

I met an Olympian today!

This morning when I woke up, I tried to bargain with God just a little bit. Not really ready to get out of bed, I asked for a little more time and then promised that I would get up and go to church as I knew I should.

Because I made my way to church, God gifted me with an awesome morning. The worship part of church was wonderful and had me in tears. The sermon was great and really taught me about of all things obedience and seeking to know the word of God.

But it was after church when Sydney and I really got our gift. We decided to go for Chinese food which is one of our favorites. Lunch out after church has become sort of a regular occurrence and as indecisive as we both are, I was a little surprised when Chinese came to my mind and Sydney instantly agreed that sounded good. When we sat, the restaurant was relatively full with the usual after church crowd. We waited for a table and sat next to a family with two elderly parents and an adult daughter. Nothing ordinary until mom and daughter got up and went to the buffet line. It was then that I noticed the daughter was a beautiful woman with Down syndrome. Her mom gently ushered her back to the table explaining that they only wanted to take small portions because larger portions would not be good when they got to it. The woman agreed with her mom and sat at the table to eat her meal making polite conversation while she ate. I was fortunate enough to be able to visit with that young lady's mom a little later and I found out that her daughter is named Kandi, she had heart surgery when she was little and now she is 41. She is gifted with purity, humility and love. Love for herself and love from her family.

She was inducted into the Special Olympics hall of fame and really enjoyed her experience at the games. She had 3 roommates and came away with many new friends. When I told her mother that I was adopting a little girl with Down syndrome, she told me that I would be forever blessed and would never regret my decision.

This past few weeks have been wrought with anxiety and fear for me. The cost and reality of the adoption was too real for me and I found myself afraid and unwilling to go back and so apprehensive about going forward. I've been worried about bringing a toddler into my life again (it's been a long time) and my own lack of discipline and how am I ever going to fit a child into my schedule that sometimes goes so fast I can't even manage it for myself.

I've been so blessed by people who are there for me and offer such support. I have prayers coming from all over the world.

Today, my answer came from God via a simple mom who loves her daughter. "You'll never regret it"

Somehow, I know that. Now more than ever.

Praise and sorrow

Yesterday was a day to remember.

It was a day of gains and losses, praise and sorrow.

Praise because a little boy is one step closer to coming home. Praise because the adoptions are slowly resuming in Russia. Praise because he has a chance at a happy and fulfilling life. Praise because HE is orchestrating the lives of the Davis family as they add Kirill to their family.

Kirill is a little boy who has lived his life in Pskov, Russia in a building that is little more than 4 walls and many of the things it takes to house far too many children who are also parentless. Fortunately, Kirill is not parentless, he has a whole family and so many in America who want to see him home.

We're left with sorrow and loss for a beautiful and strong girl who lost her battle with lukemia after so many years of valiant fight. Our sorrow is not for Kristin now, because we know she's in the arms of Jesus. She's finally rid of that horrible disease. The sorrow comes from our loss, from empathy for her brave mom Polly and those who will miss her presence in their daily lives. She represented so much to so many. In the words posted by Polly, she instilled the gift of perspective and the lesson of fragility and taught the true meaning of life and what's important. The earth is without an angel today but I'm sure that she's up there dancing and singing in heaven.

Happy Independence day

It's the 4th of July and my thoughts are on independence. A word originating in 1640. Independence is defined by Mirriam-Webster as "the state of being independent", "freedom".
We seek to gain it, fight for it and declare it loudly to any who will listen. We employ thousands of men and women to defend it, but do we really want complete independence?
I say no, we don't.
Now mind you I do want independence from many things. From tyranny of corrupt governments, from mounting monetary pressures, from opressive religions, even from parents (sorry mom and dad, no offense intended). And as I struggle for it, I am happy to say that I am dependent in some ways. I am dependent on my loving God. On His mercies which I will never hope to deserve, and on His grace which washes me clean so that I can rest in His arms one day.
So while we as a nation celebrate our independence, I am joining in with you, but I am also celebrating the freedom to be completely dependent on the one who loves me like no other.
There is much to celebrate today. I'm so grateful that I have my family; my kids whom I love so completely and am so proud of, my parents who are so supportive and my beautiful Russian girl who inspires me daily to try to be better. One day soon, she will gain independence as she depends on a family for the first time. A day of freedom designed by God Himself.

Happy Independence Day everyone!

Living on borrowed time.....

Living on borrowed time....

Unwanted, Unloved, Hungry and Alone

Is she really unwanted?

....Well, it depends on what side of the world you're on.

On the other side of the world, she has paid workers. She is seen as an obligation of service, a means to a paycheck, a face among many who need without ceasing. On this side of the world, she is anticipated with an unrivaled eagerness, dreamed about and is being prepared carefully for. She is certainly WANTED here.

How about unloved....

On the other side of the world, she has caregivers. There are those who put her into bed but they walk away, give her food but don't pray over it with her, watch her fall, but don't kiss her boo boos when she cries. On this side of the world waits a family with a mommy, sister, brother, grandma and grandpa who will play with her, sing to her and tuck her in with a kiss or as many kisses as she wants. Serve her breakfast, lunch and dinner planned to help her grow both physically and intellectually and pray over it to help her grow spiritually, and reach to catch her when she falls, dry every tear and shed them with her if that helps her. Here, she is LOVED and TREASURED.

Is she hungry....

On the other side of the world, she may not be hungry for food, she has probably been fed on a very regular schedule a diet consisting of the same foods, the same portions without true regard for her nutrition and growth, and with the same routine day in and day out since she could eat solid food. On this side of the world, she will be introduced to new tastes, textures and experiences with loving guidance towards food that will help her and nurture her growing body, mind and soul. She will NOT be hungry here.

How can she be all alone....

On the other side of the world, she is surrounded by other children, caregivers and administrators, but does she have anyone who is hers, who will nurure her heart, body and soul, who will see her as an individual, a person of value a beautiful life? On this side of the world, she will be celebrated as a gift, marking every milestone for the rest of our lives. Enjoying the big moments in life as well as the mundane times. Connecting with her as I discover her spirit and the unique nature of who Gracie Clifton is. Becoming a family, a group of intertwined souls who are strong alone but stronger when we are together. She will NEVER be alone here.

SHE IS MY DAUGHTER

My sad little girl

Thank you to Amy L. who found this newest picture of Gracie. I'm so grateful that she's passed on the two updated pictures that I have. They are all I have other than my imaginings of what life will be like the moment I meet her for the first time, the day we come home, the day she starts school and the many other achievements down the road.

This picture tears at my heart. The look of fear and sadness tells me she needs a mama more than ever.

It's been a sad week for me. In fact much of the week I've had a look on my face pretty similar to Gracie's poor little frown. In the midst of so much uncertainty, I received some good news today.

At my request, Anna (whom I am looking forward to meeting for several reasons) contacted Gracie's baby house to let them know that I AM STILL COMING TO GET HER, and to ask that she please NOT be transferred to the mental institution. The word that I received is that they are still aware that I'm coming for her and she is not scheduled to be transferred to the institution. Praise God. Now, if I can ask for your prayers that WACAP will get a reinstatement of their license and their adoptions will resume. I'm told that all of my paperwork is in Seattle and is waiting to be sent to Russia.

I can't wait to go about the business of turning that frown upside Down. :)

May, it's been a busy month

Still not working. My wrist is getting better though. Now if we could only get the Dr to allow me to lift more than 5 lbs......

May has been a great month for us here at the Clifton house. To start off, we got puppies. Three of them 2 females and 1 male. Born via c-section instead of the natural way, but they are all healthy including the puppies. At this writing, we're anxiously awaiting the opening of their eyes.

Graduations: we had 2 of them. One boy's and one girl's. So very proud of my kids. Both graduated with honors and both have big plans for after school.

First, on Friday, May 7, Tyler graduated from University of Nebraska at Kearney. He has done so well in college and I know that at more than one time in his life, I would have predicted that he wouldn't have done so well. God had different plans, and he has a beautiful girlfriend and a great job waiting for him. The not so good part is that he is moving away to Milwaukee, Wisconsin in a little over a month. That is hitting this mama hard.

Then on Sunday, May 9, Sydney graduated from Grand Island Senior High School. She also graduated with honors and as a member of the National Honor Society. She has plans to attend the University of Nebraska at Kearney and is majoring in vocal music performance and minoring in psychology. After her 4 years there, she plans to attend graduate school in Minneapolis, Minnesota for music therapy. I can't think about that move just yet, so I'll concentrate on her plans for the coming summer and next school year. She has a trip to Europe planned with the Midwest American Honor Choir. They will tour several different locations including France, Prague, Austria, Germany, Italy or England and some other places I don't remember. It's a chance of a lifetime and I'm so blessed she was nominated and has the opportunity to go. Also in the mail was a congratulations letter to Sydney, who as an incoming freshman will be a part of the UNK show choir team. We didn't expect to get that given there were only 14 positions being auditioned for and 11 returning singer/dancers. That was only 3 positions for about 20 other auditioners. WAHOO!

Fingerprints, we finally got them! After three months and one day since submitting our I600A, several phone calls, emails and prayers, we got our fingerprints done today! I know there are other things to wait for, but at least we got that accomplished while Sydney is still in town (or country for that matter). So, a small step forward goes a long way to encourage me. Also when I got the mail today, I found an envelope mailed to me with a donation in it. I think I know who it was from, and am so blessed that he believes in Gracie's adoption enough to give what he can. Thank God for those who believe.

Please pray that WACAP is given priveleges back by the end of this week. I'm told we should be able to expect some answers by then. It may make the difference between Gracie being transferred to an institution or staying there waiting for me to come get her.

ALL OF THAT AND IT'S ONLY THE 11TH!!!!

I'm tired now.

4....What's in a number?

Alot for this and many many beautiful children in foreign orphanages. At the age of 4 this little girl stands the risk of being transferred to a mental institution where her physical and emotional needs would likely go unmet. She and many others left to starve to death in so many ways because of ignorance and an overburdened system.

Is she 4 yet? Maybe or maybe not, but if not yet, soon. This month in fact. I wish I knew the date, but since I don't, I am just going to focus on getting over there as soon as I can. Giving her the gift of a family that loves her and ultimately, knowledge of a God who loves her more. I'm happy to say that I'm looking forward to giving her that gift every day for so many years to come. She's already given me so much hope.

I'm so grateful that as long as I'm still coming for her, she's safe in her baby house. She's given care from a staff that love her and hope to see her benefit from a family. From a mommy, a brother and sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, from a community who all look forward to welcoming her home. Home at last!