Today was a day that started out a lot like any other day.
As the day went on though, I began to see that today was a day God used to teach me to submit to His will. For so many reasons, I've been struggling lately. A BIG part of that struggle has been the wait. The long, drawn-out, frustrating, emotionally exhausting wait. Even though I had this voice in my head saying "You're not so important that this is going to happen in your own time" and the phrase that I've heard so many times "In God's perfect timing", I've found that it's a lot easier to hear those thoughts than it is to really surrender to them.
It's occurred to me that as time goes by the prices of plane tickets has gone down drastically (I mean who really wants to go to Siberia in the middle of winter), I've gotten a grant to help with my costs and I might even have the time to file my 2010 taxes before I go (which would help tremendously). The biggest and best provision God gave to me was revealed today though. I made a call to my adoption agency today to ask if there were any new developments. I already knew that if anything had been requested, I would have heard already, but had to call anyway. In talking to Silvia (she works as the liaison between the US and Russia to put her job simply), she told me that my dossier papers had been held back because the "good judge" was off of work for the month of December and there was no way they wanted my papers to go before the "bad judge" What a HUGE thing! It would be devastating if my case went before a judge that has bad feelings for Americans or adoptions of special needs children.
It's so hard for me to acknowledge that even after all that I've been through in this adoption process, the judge could still say no. Lately, I've been very compelled to ask God that the judge will find favor with me. So I guess that today I'm thanking God for His part in this adoption. He is in control and simply stated, He wants Gracie to be adopted. I've known that and I've seen that several times since starting this process.
So, while yes I want this to happen quickly and every day she is in an orphanage is a day without the love of a family, now I have to acknowledge that I need to stop asking for my will and start trusting in His will. To quote some unknown person wiser than myself,
"God is never late, and He's seldom early. He's always right on time."
And
"Give me patience God but please hurry!"
Please if your inclined, leave me a comment! I thrive on them and it's so nice to know I'm sharing this adventure with you.
Thanks much!
Deana
Yes, most of those hangers were in use. And that's a twin bed under there.
